Titanik

It's the last drawing from Politika series, sort of "grand finale," gathering all the "heroes" together and even introducing some new ones, most notably Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. The ship full of Putryoshkas is headed towards the imminent wreck, ignoring the clear warning (the text on the sign says "Iceberg, right ahead!" in Russian). In the background you can see Viktor Yanukovych (the Ukrainian president) towed to the ship. Whether he will follow it to the end or cut the rope in time, remains to be seen. What we already see, is Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus trying to flee in a lifebuoy. Good luck, buddy!

The Milk Wars

It's another drawing from Politika series. I started it last year, but it's been finished only recently. It represents Putin and Medvedev engaged in "Holy Milk Wars" against Belarus and Lithuania. As you may know, in 2009 Russia's Sanitary Department banned milk imports from these two states, claiming that their products failed to meet certain quality standards. Although, the real reasons are obviously political: Belarus has refused to support Russia's recognition of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, and Lithuania is well known for being Georgia's primary ally in the Baltic region.

Banning imports is an approved method used by the Kremlin for "punishing" their disobedient neighbors. Back in 2006 Moscow banned Georgian and Moldavian wines and mineral waters, claiming to have found "dangerous additives" in them. Later the ban was lifted from Moldavian imports, but it still remains on Georgian products.

Russia, Nicaragua... ESET

What these two countries and an antivirus software developer could possibly have in common? I'll tell you what -- they all regard Abkhazia, a breakaway Georgian region, as a country (although, as I've heard, the parliament of Nicaragua still hasn't ratified Ortega's recognition of Abkhazia and so-called "South Ossetia").

I discovered this fact last Monday, when I was browsing through ESET's website (my trial version of Smart Security 4 had expired and I was looking for purchase options). While the presence of Abkhazia and "South Ossetia" in the country lists of Russian websites and software products is a common rule after Medvedev's recognition (some displayed Abkhazia even PRIOR to the recognition), the rest of the world usually respects the territorial integrity of Georgia and avoids listing its breakaway provinces among legitimate states. So it was rather unexpected to see something like this on a Slovakian company's website:


Generally, ESET seems to have a thing for including autonomous regions in country lists -- like Aland Islands (Finland) for instance -- but that's not really our business. But Abkhazia is certainly OUR business, so I decided to let them know how wrong they are. I sent a short letter to Christopher Dale, ESET's PR manager, aiming for the weakest point of all companies -- the sales numbers. Here it is:

Dear Sir,

I had decided to buy ESET Smart Security 4, but then I saw Abkhazia in a country selection list and changed my mind. If you think a couple of extra purchases from this Russian-controlled province is worth loosing a lot more Georgian customers, then be my guest. Maybe it's just business for you, but it's politics for us.

Sincerely,
Rezo Kaishauri

I had little hope for a positive response (or any response at all), so I decided to start a thread in a political section of Tbilisi Forum -- the largest Georgian-speaking web community in the world. The reaction was immediate, and soon a squall of angry letters rained upon Dale's mailbox.

Apparently, the massive onslaught did its work -- in a few days ESET silently removed Abkhazia from their country list, as you can see below:

Some may say, who cares about country lists, when there are much bigger problems. Well, we care. Because every small victory matters in this great war for people's minds.

Russian Leprechaun

This is a very special leprechaun -- the Russian breed, significantly larger and greedier than it's Irish relative. It collects the pipe money, sings chastushkas, drinks vodka, and eats nearby small states when hungry. It's favorite place is Canteen No.1, which currently has quite a few items on the menu: Georgia, Ukraine (hot dishes), Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia (cold snacks). Unfortunately, they have run out of vodka because of the global economic crisis, so they have to use kerosene instead. You see the last bottle of vodka on the table, and its label reads "fire and kerosene" in Georgian, which is another way to say: "Choke on it!"

As for the newspaper, you can see two headlines in Russian: "Peace Enforcement" and "The Fork Is Ours!" The last one refers to the famous golden fork, liberated by the leprechaun's army among other goods. This cult object is also represented on the picture: you can see it on the plate with the leprechaun's favorite dish.

If you're curious, the inscription on the purse behind the pile of gold coins reads "GOSBANK" (the Russian State Bank). And finally, if you look at the wall carefully, you'll realize that the crumbled plaster may also have something to say...

The Gas Cowboys

And here come the long-awaited Gas Cowboys. Inspired by the January's "gas crisis", which nearly left half the Europe without heating, this picture represents our happy "Twix" couple as cheerful cowboys mounting the trunk pipeline ("Pipe No.1") which generously supplies the European Union with Russian gas, while some "light-fingered" Ukrainians are trying to "illegally benefit" from the transit -- with the help of their "Hose No.1" which has turned pitch-black from corruption.

As you can see, the cowboys were so excited to climb the pipe that they forgot to put their pants on, thereby granting us a rare privilege to observe their underwear, which is especially rewarding in Medvedev's case, who sports a cute pair of teddy bear themed shorts. To avoid any possible misinterpretations, I would like to clarify that the colors of his costume have nothing to do with Estonian flag and the match is purely coincidental.

Father Figurine (New Year Edition)

The year 2008 was very successful for the Russian leadership. They acquired a shiny golden fork, a great pair of shoes (almost new) and, among other things, two brand new territories. All thanks to Santa, of course. You know his beloved elves from the previous editions, so there is no need to introduce them. As you can see, they look quite happy, except Lukashenko, a stubborn Belorussian elf, who wanted 2 billion shiny American dollars in exchange for the recognition of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, but was constantly refused with exactly the same Russian "kukish" you see in the picture, springing out of the gift box. You've been a bad boy, Alex, so you won't get your...

Just a sec... Ah, they just informed me that Lukashenko, at long last, was granted his precious gift. Apparently, now he has to fulfill his side of the bargain and order his pocket parliament to recognize the "new states". Well, it seems Daniel Ortega won't be so lonely anymore...

The Russian Empire grows, but until the glorious day when all the earthlings will speak Russian fluently, let me translate the inscription on the ribbon for you. It reads: "Happy new year, happy new territories!"

P.S. The Gas Cowboys are on their way. Stay tuned!

Lonely Putryoshka

I intended to finish the Politika series by the end of 2008, but for numerous reasons I was unable to do that. So I decided to slow the things down and "prolong the pleasure" for the whole next year.

The new picture is called "Lonely Putryoshka". I finished it during my holiday trip to Vilnius, described in the previous blog post.

So far Nicaragua remains the only state beside Russia to officially recognize the independence of Georgia's breakaway territories. Apparently, President Ortega made this decision to please Kremlin and to spite President Bush, without any real concern neither for Abkhazia, nor so-called "South Ossetia". In exchange for so badly needed recognition, Russia's leadership keeps feeding its "friends" with empty promises.

Sock Puppet

I have to admit, Putin is simply beautiful in this picture... in a very twisted way, of course. The idea behind the artwork is obvious -- Medvedev is just a placeholder, keeping the seat warm until the glorious third coming of the TRUE president.

Meanwhile, the "presidential couple" seems to be suffering from some serious mental disorders. In a political sense, that is. Paranoia (FSB everywhere), delirium of persecution ("NATO plans to invade us!"), delirium of grandeur (derzhavism, cult of personality) -- you name it. Medvedev calls Saakashvili a schizophrenic, but if he wants to see a real schizo, I would advise him to watch the archive footage where his beloved mentor, impeccable Putin, offers a French journalist, who asked him an uncomfortable question about Chechnya, to visit Moscow, where the extra-class Russian specialists will gladly circumcise him so that "nothing grows back" (exact quotation).

As you see, the legendary Golden Fork is back in Putin's pocket. Just google for "vilochka" (meaning "forkie" in Russian) for some good politically charged fun.

Father Figurine (Second Edition)

After publishing the "Father Figurine" on the Web, I received numerous complaints about the absence of Igor Smirnov, the president of self-proclaimed Transnistria (Pridnestrovie), and the presence of Serzh Sargsyan, who refused to recognize the Georgian breakaway regions despite the pressure from the Russian government. So I decided to make another version which excludes Sargsyan (he's been a good boy lately) and Medvedev (urgent state matters) and includes Igor Smirnov (Transnistria) and Bako Sahakyan (Nagorno-Karabakh). The golden fork had to go, unfortunately (Putin gave it to Medvedev, who likes shiny objects very much), but the empty can remained (and got even bigger).

Also, the scenery has been changed to represent a new idea behind the figurines. Thing is, that all these "babies" -- Transnistria, Abkhazia, South Ossetia and Nagorno-Karabakh -- are willing to join the so-called "Union of States" which Russia and Belarus are trying to establish for several years now. The idea of this Union was born in Putin's mind (possibly during a severe hangover) and was readily welcomed by Lukashenko. Or maybe vice versa. It doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that the idea is rapidly progressing from a mere "joint Russian-Belorussian state" to a full scale remake of the infamous Soviet Union. Care to join the party?

Ah, and another thing -- the hammer and sickle on the Pridnestrovian flag is not a fruit of my artistic imagination. It's actually there. In fact, they took the old USSR flag and "decorated" it with a green stripe. Damn plagiarists.

Father Figurine

This piece of artwork is about "putryoshkas" (Putin + Matryoshka) -- the political figurines who regard Putin as father figure, inspirer, great leader, etc. The first and foremost putryoshka is of course Dmitry Medvedev, de jure president of the Russian Federation (everybody knows who de facto is). Among other "babies" are Sergey Bagapsh of Abkhazia, Eduard Kokoity of "South Ossetia", Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus and finally Serzh Sargsyan of Armenia, who comes along the bunch rather unwillingly, being forced to "adoption" by the Great Father. Armenia slowly begins to realize what kind of an "ally" Putin's regime is, and probably that's why Mr. Sargsyan has such an unhappy look on the picture.

As for the fork in the pocket, probably you have already seen this symbol in many other satirical depictions. It's the golden fork appropriated by a Russian soldier during the "peace enforcing" campaign. Among the other "liberated" goods there were shoes, toilet basins and U.S. Hammers. All used.

The Puppet Master

This was my first politically themed artwork ever. I hoped it would be the last, since I never thought it to be "my thing", but many people told me not to stop because I was good at it. It's not for me to judge, but I liked the idea of making a whole series of Russian-themed political artwork, with some surrealistic feel to it.

I made "The Puppet Master" a few days after the bombings stopped. In the center you see Vladimir Putin, the Grand Puppet Master, the Great Conspirer and the Father of the Modern Russian Democracy. On the left there is Sergey Bagapsh, the "president" of an "independent" Abkhazia with a Russian name and, apparently, a Russian passport in his pocket (metaphorically, since the puppets usually don't have pockets). On the right you can see Eduard Kokoity, the "president" of so-called "South Ossetia", who happens to call himself a Russian citizen, which is quite strange for a "president of a sovereign state", to say the least.

Between them you can see the Roki tunnel, drilled through the Caucasus by Eduard Shevardnadze, when he was the Head Secretary of the Supreme Counsel of the Georgian SSR. It never had any significant economic value, since it didn't feature a railway road. But it served as a peephole for the Big Brother. Also, it connected the two autonomous republics -- North Ossetia (in Russia) and South Ossetia (in Georgia). Finally Ossetians were able to actually meet each other after the centuries of cruel isolation by Mother Nature, who decided to raise an impassable mountain range right in the middle of their Ancient Ossetian Kingdom.

Forgive my sarcasm, but it's really hitting my boiling point, when someone regards Samachablo, a historical province in the very heart of Georgia, as something not Georgian. The mere fact that the Ossetians heavily populated the region under the rule of the Russian Empire cannot be used as an excuse for building an independent statehood. The region was never truly Ossetian. Both people lived there as one, forming entirely different sort of ethnic background, a mix of Georgian and Ossetian. It can be compared to a checkerboard, where the black and white squares represent Georgian and Ossetian villages side by side. A mix of historical Georgian roots and blood with newly come Ossetian culture and blood -- that's what the region was. I say was, because today Ossetian and Russian troops are cleansing the region from any signs of Georgian presence. The houses which survived Russian bombings were burned down later for only one purpose -- so that the Georgian population had NO PLACE TO RETURN.

Now back to the Roki tunnel. Since South-Ossetian Autonomous Region proclaimed so-called "independence" (so-called because it's no independence when you want to leave a country just to become a part of another country) from Georgia in early 1990's, the tunnel became the main route of supply for the separatists. Smuggled goods, weapons, you name it. Despite the restrictions and embargoes placed by the OSCE, Russian government never stopped supporting the separatist regimes both in Abkhazia and "South Ossetia", effectively preventing any possibility of a peaceful resolution. Russia could simply say "no" to the separatists, leaving them no choice but to cooperate with Georgian authorities, but instead Russia encouraged them in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.

Why? Because it's been always the motto of the Old Russian Empire, then the Soviet Empire and finally the New Russian Empire -- "Divide and Rule". How can you force a strong, united Georgia to walk your path? You can't. But fortunately for Russia, Georgia had its territorial problems (time-bombs placed first by Russian Tsars, then upgraded by Joseph Stalin) which could be effectively used as a means for manipulation and bargaining. That's why the Russian government massively supplied the breakaway regions with Russian passports -- to be able to come to their "protection" later. The "peace enforcement operation" which took place in August 2008 has been staged and rehearsed long before the Russian troops actually invaded Georgian soil.

Today we see the results. Tanks poured in through the Roki tunnel. Russian military bases deployed on Georgian soil. And the biggest political mistake of the Russian government in decades -- the recognition of Abkhazia and "South Ossetia" as independent states.